"Eccentric Valor: Homeless Man's Astonishing Act of Survival"

[How some quick-thinking helped me avoid getting stabbed with a bowie knife]

If you've never experienced being skid-row homeless you probably can't understand or begin to understand what it does to a person's soul. Not only the demeaning depravity which swallows someone's spirit but also the mere logistical nightmare it is to sleep on the ground every single night. At this point in Austin there was a homeless ban which meant you would get cited with a ticket if found sleeping outside(our elected officials are not too bright). Not only did you have to worry about the laws jamming you up, you also had to worry about animals biting you in the middle of the night, insects crawling in your pants , the elements, as well as random degenerate homeless people who'd been up 9 days pulling a bowie knife on you while you slept threatening to stick you if you didn't give him everything you got. Oh yeah strap in, this one's good.

[Goodwill] shipping bay, Anderson Lane in Austin TX, where I slept under a docked truck and fended off a homeless assailant.

Shortly after 3:00 a.m. I posted up behind a Goodwill off Anderson Lane. There was a delivery truck that was parked in the docking Bay so I crawled under it thinking this would provide me adequate shelter as well as camouflage me from any busters trying to cause problems, something I kept running into fairly consistently so far on my journey. The mindset from people on the streets is like the mindset of people in jails/prisons. Decency cordiality and general well-being for another man's feelings have no place. It's dog eat dog, sharks preying on minnows. You bite before your e bit you strike before you're struck, at least this is how people live. There's no room for weakness or at the very least showing weakness. If you want to make it you either better be a great actor or you better know how to fight. Luckily, I knew how to do both.

As I drifted off into the land of nods (sleeping), I felt something kick me. Still asleep, I didn't consciously comprehend what was happening. However, at this point, my fight or flight response was more active than a parole violation warrant, so I was up on my feet ready to dance before I knew what was happening. Oh shit, swing low sweet chariots (Beyonce version).

Standing before me was a man who resembled gollum from Lord of the rings, a real ugly looking mother f*****. Seriously this man's birth must have been God's idea of a practical joke, cuz this dude was f***** up. However, he might as well have been 15 ft tall and on steroids cuz clutched in his left hand was a giant bowie knife that would have made Davy Crockett a little squirrely just looking at it.

"Hey white boy you know what time it is n****, gimme yo shit," said Gollum. I started to sweat and saw my life flash before my eyes. Again, when you're faced with imminent death you either fight or you run. Realizing that I could not take this man on my own and being that he had me cornered, I had no choice but to stand my ground. And deliver a performance noteworthy of an academy award if I do say so myself.

I looked at the man with the most crazy unstable Jack Nicholson from "The Shining" look, started contorting my body screaming like I was possessed by the devil while fllailing my arms jumping up and down. Suddenly I stopped, blankly looked him in the eye and said(Academy Award), "Hereeeee's Johnnnyyy!" Then started zombie shuffling towards him like my life depended on it. You see, years earlier I read a book written by Charles manson. Charles Manson was a tiny fella. He detailed how, when others would attempt to victimize him in prison or on the street, he couldn't fight back due to his small size. So, he would act crazy and more times than not people were caught off guard and didn't know what to make of it so they would quit f****** with him. Thanks Charlie.

There's no Hollywood ending to this story, the man eventually left me alone and nothing happened to me. Unfortunately, although I did gain a valuable tool for self preservation and the avoidance of being victimized, the cost inevitably was- chalk up another win for the trauma column.

I got dope though, I'll get over it .