"Spiritual Encounter: Homeless Man's Winter Blessing from an Angel"

[My encounter with a literal angel, while sleeping on a bus-stop bench, homeless]

Religious texts such as the Bible, Quran and Torah instruct their followers, in various vernacular and similar form, to "be cognizant of how one treats strangers for they might be entertaining Angels without knowing it." Essentially, don't bitch slap the yuppie at Whole Foods whose complaining about their eggs not being non-gmo organic cage-free, because yeah, possible Angel bro. Jokes aside, even if you don't belong to any organized religion, if nothing else, showing kindness and compassion to strangers is a constructive and peaceful way to live ones life, Angel or not.

[Hebrews 13:2] from the King James Version Bible.

Ten months into my journey of living on the streets, up to this point, I was enjoying the luxury of hot humid Texas weather. Being homeless in Austin was no whahhkk-in-thuh-pahhkkk(new england accent appreciation day), but I figured at least it was better than being homeless in Fargo, North Dakota where -20°F is considered warm. Seriously, what kind of asshole wants to live in -20°F weather 9 months out of the year? However, still possessing a small portion of my critical thinking skills, I inevitably knew even that would come to an end in Austin.

[Metric Lane] wooded area where I wandered for 6 hours on that cold December day 2023, high on meth.

If you're not from Austin, our weather tends to follow the high-maintenance teenage girl model. One minute it's a beautiful sunshiny day, apple pie is seductively baking in the oven, you and the GF are cuddling on the couch, then the next minute, freezing-rain envelops the atmosphere while GF pulls out a flame thrower, torches the house, royally destroys the apple pie(not cool), all the while death-metal blares from the stereo. Holla if you hear me. It's like the home-school kid at the scripts national spelling bee fumbling pronunciation, our weather system often doesn't know if it should be hot, cold, rainy or windy, so it says, "fuck it I'll just do all of them!" Due to this, having little clothing options already, it made it difficult to know when I needed to steal sweatpants and a jacket. This night was one of those nights.

[Apartment Complex] on Metric Lane in Austin TX where I spent all day attempting to steal bikes in order to fund my $200/day habit.

I had been working all-day off of metric lane, by working I mean scouting out high-price bikes at apartment complexes which were ripe for the taking, something that attracted unwanted attention from nosy Karen's and Gomer Pyle's(low IQ police officers). Assholes right? As the night progressed, it became clear that I had worn out my welcome in that part of town so I headed south faster than a convict trying to avoid a federal indictment. Having narrowly ducked and dodged the laws yet again, I decide to reward myself for all my hard work. So, I went to a Catholic church around the corner and confessed my sins, crying out for forgiveness. Psych. I did what any seasoned street dwelling junkie did, I flooded my dopamine receptors with enough meth to power times square. All sense of fear, exhaustion and uncertainty left me, as usual. We're not in Kansas anymore. Okay that one has no meaning I just thought it sounded cool.

[Dopamine] release values based on activity. Methamphetamine releases 1200% of the normal baseline dopamine value in the human brain.

In my opinion, one of the most devious, fascinating attributes of Methamphetamine is it's ability to remove any and all sense of fear in said individual. It's not like alcohol or any other drug however that just simply gives one courage in moments where courage might tend to evade them. For me at least, I felt like superman wearing an invisibility cloak staring down legions of orch's from Lord of the Rings screaming, "King Kong ain't got shit on me," possessing no sliver of doubt in my mind that I would be victorious over any and all adversary. On an emotional level, it's like a blissfully euphoric family reunion full of nostalgia, companionship and contentment. It has a subtle way of convincing us that this is the new me, in the moment forgetting that we are under the influence. On a physiological level, the explanation is quite simple. Plainly, our brains reward system has been completely hijacked. There is so much dopamine flooding our brain, it actually does turn us into chemically enhanced supermen. To give you perspective, dopamine is designed to tell our brain that said activity we are engaging in is good, providing us an incentive to keep doing it because it's vital for our survival. That's why we feel good after eating a good meal, hugging a loved one and having sex(only after marriage ya'll). When we eat chocolate, roughly 100 units of dopamine are released in the brain. When we have sex, roughly 350 units of dopamine are released in our brain. When we shoot heroin, 750 units. When we shoot methamphetamine, over 1400 units of dopamine are released. We were never meant to go that high. It's like turning on a water hose that was meant to flow for 30 seconds, yet we have a gun to the head of the person controlling the hose forcing it to flow for an hour. Yeah, it's epic you should definitely try it(only if it's your birthday). Thus, you can imagine how someone could fall into it's grips.

[Metric Lane] bus stop where I slept on that freezing December night, 2023.

I found myself at a bus stop bench 6 hours later, completely unsure of what I had done that night, a usual occurrence, feeling like I had just gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. My body was wrecked. It didn't help that I had not ate that day, I was dehydrated and utterly exhausted. Also, consequently, In all the madness I had failed to realize, or feel, the massive cold-front which had moved into town. Temperatures were hovering near 38 degrees and I had prepared by wearing a tank-top, basketball shorts, one sock and shoes that even Moses would be embarrassed to wear. I was in the fetal position on this bus stop bench cursing mother nature for putting me in this situation. What a bitch. Delusional anyone?

One thing I've learned to love about my higher power, whom I call God, is that even when I'm at my worst, he still meets me where i'm at. He doesn't wait for me to clean up and dust off before he reveals himself to me. This night was no different. As I lay there thinking about all those assholes in North Dakota, I notice a car creeping in my direction. This was peculiar because it appeared as if they were stopping in the middle of the road to check me out for some reason. My first thought was someone who I had previously robbed had found me by chance and was going to kill me or seriously mess my day up. As they came to a complete stop, I prepared for the worst.

Flashers on, parked in the middle of the road, a tall balding white dude emerges from the vehicle and approaches me. He wasn't armed with a Bowie knife or AK-47 so that was good news. Without saying anything, he popped his trunk and pulled out the most beautifully fluffy quilt I had ever seen. This thing was like a thousand warm cuddly puppies put together. He steps towards me, hands me the blanket and says, "Hey man take this before you freeze to death." I was shocked. This rarely happens on the streets. Once you've been skid-row homeless you come to accept the fact that most strangers are going to curse you, laugh at you and do all they can to remind you how much of a disgrace you are. So when a perfect stranger stops his car in the middle of the road at 3 AM to give you a blanket on a bitterly cold night, its like an oasis in the desert. "Do you have anything to eat," said the man, "No I don't," I said with a sense of shame. He proceeded to pull out $20 from his wallet, handing it to me with a gentle smile on his face. No words, no preaching, no hoo-rah get you're life together rhetoric, simply a selfless kind act for someone who has drowning in life. He looked at me a moment more then walked back to his car. Now, I had met many kind strangers before. But the sense of grace and compassion this man radiated without even speaking to me was something I had not experienced before.

[Words] the random stranger spoke as he was getting in to his car to leave. I had never told him my name.

As he was getting back into his car he turned to me and said, "Spencer, God has a plan for your life." At that, he drove off and I haven't seen him since. "Wow! What a nice-" my thought was immediately interrupted with the stark, unbelievable realization that I had not told that Man my name. I had just encountered what I undoubtedly know to be the 2nd Angel I've seen in my life, all within the last two weeks.

When I was in dire straights, urgently needing something, anything to remind me that all was not lost, that I needed to keep fighting - God met me where I was. He met me in the trenches, in the grimy underworld of sin and destruction that I called my life, speaking a language that I could understand and appreciate. He gave me a supernatural experience, a glimpse of heaven, which will always envelop my soul, something that gives me tears and goosebumps to this day. He came down from heaven among all my shame and disgust and perfectly touched me in a way that I could understand and latch onto. Church, religious text and sermons are a wonderful way to convey how much God loves us. But, for me, nothing could testify to God's love for me more than a stranger with a blanket and twenty bucks. If you have an opportunity to be someone's Angel, a vessel for God trying to reach a lost soul, never discount just how far a "small" gesture can go to touch someone's soul. For that man, it was simply a blanket and twenty bucks. For me, it was everything. God bless you sir, wherever you are.